Back Inaction

My dad has many sayings, one of which is, "A clear sky is not afraid of storms." He obviously hasn't been in Greece recently.

I caught a cold. Actually my back caught a cold. In medicine, I am used to Western meeting Eastern ideologies, methods and practices, trying to find the balance between both mindsets. Here, it's more like Western meets Old World.

Last Thursday I met a family friend for coffee in the neighborhood she used to live in, Nea Smyrni. We met early, before noon, and I awoke to find blue sky. I did my daily routine, turn on the hot water heater, make coffee, enjoy it while overlooking the sea, and finish with a quick mopping of the inside and the veranda. (There is a lot of dust that accumulates, and depending on the direction of the wind--clouds can move in a different one each day--I've even cleaned up red sand from the veranda. They say that's the stuff that comes from Egypt.) I got dressed and made my way across the street for the 20 minute tram ride.

The main square or πλατεία in Nea Smyrni has overtime become pedestrian only. It's a lovely scene. The noise you hear is from people or the rare μηχανάκι making it's way, but never cars or their horns. It's tiered; the steps add their own dimension to the layout. In the center are aqua blue pools with working fountains, surrounded by seating areas of different cafes. Of course I love the free wifi (why is this not everywhere?). I also love that I see all ages here; there's something about that quality in a neighborhood that I really like. And there is lots of shopping nearby. I was urged to return at night to take in the lights (light show? light show?). All in all it's a great little city center and a perfect place to meet. We found a cafe overlooking a fountain, ordered our coffees, and started in on my favorite main course--good conversation.

And suddenly, we weren't sure what hit us. Neither was anyone else who was nearby. Frantic servers started flipping chair cushions. Older people scrambled for cover. Younger people, well they really didn't change their behavior much. We huddled over our table a bit closer as we watched the sky close and the rain beat down, straight down. I was wearing a white scarf, a black dress, red lips, and thankfully closed toe shoes. I did not remove my sunglasses.

As we continued to talk, what I hadn't realized was that my back was getting wet due to an opening in the umbrella. The rains would come in waves, pouring more down and then less. We wrapped the conversation. As soon as a break came, we bid each other farewell and off to the tram I went.

But I had plans for that day. I made them while on the veranda sipping coffee (that's also part of the routine). I was to walk home. It only takes about an hour, and I get to learn a new part of the city. I decided to hop the tram to escape the weather and get off early, weather permitting. At least I could stop by the grocery store and still get in a short walk. Athens isn't Paris, meaning that whatever amount of time you walk, you're bound to go up and down some hills. So I did. About an hour later, I got home, changed, and had lunch. And that night the pain set in. You'll pardon the pun, but that wasn't in the forecast.

It's now six days later. I'm lying on a bed with an electric heater between me and the sheets. I've never known the pain I've felt over the last several days. I cannot move easily. I cannot stand from being seated without pain and time. Σιγά σιγα is my only pace. I tried going for a walk on Saturday in the park behind my cousins' house. Uphill wasn't happening, so I threw it in reverse like a college tour guide to get myself to the nearest bench. Oh if only Athens had the poop scoop laws we have in the States--but I navigated expertly. My niece doesn't understand why I can't put her on my shoulders like we both enjoy; though she had no problems climbing on me while I lay prostrated on her couch (her dad called me her victim, but I was really just a sitting duck). Should I step uniquely, should the car I'm riding in come to a quick stop without my preparation, should I try to move as I am accustomed, I feel like someone is putting a dagger in my lower left back.

All because my back caught a cold.

My Does-It-All-Auntie took me to the doctor. In his 50s, Doc has liquid brown eyes and grey hair that had more salt than pepper. Showing grave concern for a young lady with no health issues, he performed tests. When he checked my reflexes, I actually giggled. He reassured me there's no problem with my central nervous system, but a set of local nerves have been agitated due to a muscle spasm. The muscle was the one that got wet last Thursday. He prescribed drugs. I'm taking them. I feel better. A few more days and I'll be at 100%.

I am reminded that my health is the most previous thing I have. I am lucky that this too shall pass. I am grateful that the only chronic condition I have is laughing too loud (my niece has reminded me of this more than once). I am blessed that this happened now and not in Paris, and that Do-It-All makes time in her day to make me comfortable. I know I'll be back in action soon. I guess dad was right. A clear sky really isn't afraid of storms.

Rhythms

Ever notice your own heart beating?

My uncle couldn't make it to his car from the house in the village. He's currently in the hospital waiting to have his pacemaker replaced. His daily rhythm was interrupted by his physical one. He passes time by completing crossword puzzles. Ever get a rush from unlocking that key word in a crossword? The one word that puts a spark in your brain setting off the rest? I delight on such a moment, so much so that I tune out nearly everything else.

Ever sit silently somewhere and just listen?

Bus doors slam open just after brakes scream. Cars rev out of first and into second shortly after lights turn green. A yiayia's gait is measured by the turn of the wheels on her shopping cart rolling behind her. Papous conversations are punctuated by the click-clack-click of a komboloi.

Ever notice the beach has it's own rhythm?

Waves hit the shore. Pickleball paddles talk to each other. Pop! Pop! Back. And forth. Foreigners try to sell you things. "Ne-rooow parka-looow. Ne-rooow parka-looow." "Mah-saz?" (Up on "Mah," down on "saz.") "Mah-saz?" It's The squeal of small children as they run in and out of the sea.

Ever consider your own rhythm?

My rhythm isn't so fine or granular. It starts with morning coffee on the veranda overlooking a sea (of cars) while contemplating the shape of the day. It'll include some writing and thinking. A midday "volta" allows me time to enjoy the sights, sun, or company of a relative--best case brings all three. A nap is ideal but not a given. An evening outing is always welcome. Remains of my day are weighed on the veranda, car-spotting, while enjoying the twinkling lights of Piraeus in the distance, the smell of salt water, and the moon overhead. It's reading myself to sleep.

My rhythm at home is very different from the one here (lack of a veranda is just the hors d'oeuvre). I'm just now beginning to see how my rhythm affects my mood. I like knowing that a pattern to my day makes it richer. And I like how I am coming to realize that getting back into my desired rhythm, regardless of locale, might be easier than I thought. Probably because now I'm aware of it.

Though that veranda sure does help.

I No Longer Mind Weird Looks at the Grocer

Ladies who visited in '04, this one's for you!!

Imagine my surprise when I stumbled across this incentive: purchase coffee and get a sleeve of Oreo's for free! (BTW Oreo's are pronounced oh-REH-oss, like the Greek word ωραίο, for good/beautiful.) Πως μ'αρεσει να ξοδεβω τα λεφτά μου στην αγορά! Αφήστε με παρακαλώ!

Free gifts are commonly found in supermarkets here. Buy 5 cans of Coke, and get the 6th free!! But the coup of all such purchases was in 2004. Somewhere, Kendra has a photo of me making my way home with a case of Alfa beer--and a free backgammon board! Now if I could just find a suitable opponent....

"Το Φεγγάρι Κάνει Βόλτα..."

GeoTagged, [N37.92857, W23.68835]

The moon is full. So full in fact and so wonderfully bright that I can make out the horizon with no difficulty. Tonight's evening breeze swept away any clouds. I marvel at the clarity of Aegina's twinkling lights across the way. I sip Drambuie as I delight in this moment.

My dear cousin Vicky came down from the north end to meet up for dinner. I smile in anticipation of seeing her, because I know we are always going to have a good time. Tonight it was just the two of us. Αγκαζε, we checked out the marina. The boats--yachts rather--rocked gently in the bay. We wondered who can afford such extravagancies in a time of crisis. After touring our options, we settled on an Italian place.

Antonio seated us. And soon thereafter he joined us with his own seat, getting up from time to time to help other customers. He learned our names though he was partial to Vicky's ("Vicky, how is everything?" "Vicky, where do you work?" or "Vicky, don't go, I'll be right back..."). Vicky learned that he is from Torino. I learned that I could leave whenever I wanted.

What's wonderful about being here is the connection I feel to the people I know. Though there are many other great reasons, this is the lure that hooks. I saw this connection so many times over in the relationships my mom has, and now I am beginning to see it for myself. Vicky is good for me and to me because she listens, asks, and encourages in the absence of judgment. She helps keep me accountable to what I say I want for myself. And we laugh. This is what makes this relationship so special. Because for me, when we met as adults in 2000, we started as family and have since become close friends. As I become closer with other family members here, I delight in knowing what lies ahead: a friendship borne of blood and matured by will.

More to come...

Panic at the Parko

GeoTagged, [N37.92758, W23.68950]

One of my favorite things to do is to have coffee on the veranda. The world goes by. I get to search for cars I like or look for ferries coming into Piraeus. Sometimes I'll spot a sailboat changing tack. It's a delight. And on nice days that also fall on a weekend, it's downright entertaining.

Everybody comes to the "paralia" or seaside. Families come from all over. Across the way from us is a huge park that has lots of play areas for kids, an outdoor cinema, and is close to a newly updated marina that has cafes and shops. Oh sure it's fun when you're in there but for me, I just love watching the people try to park.

All over Athens, and in other major cities, are posts that have been placed along the sidewalk so cars don't park on the sidewalk. During the week down here, this law is followed. But on weekends, mass mentality sets in and they all park--not on the sidewalk--but on a very busy thoroughfare. Taxis continue to stop wherever they want, buses cannot access those who wait for them, and traffic builds quickly. Honking ensues.

This year, however, Greece is in a crisis. The change I've seen is that these illegally parked cars are now getting ticketed. You'll kindly notice in the above photo a double parked car on the far side on the truck. That car belongs to the police. While one officer writes tickets, the other one is just waiting in that car. Ahh, Greece, the more you change, the more you truly stay the same.

More to come...

When You Face the Sun, You Can't See Shadows

My goodness is there something to be said for basking in the sunlight. And I mean basking in it. I don't mean sunbathing (though I did get a little bit of that in too), but I mean basking in it. Just letting the goodness of that bright yellow orb wash over me was a luxury (hoping I can get more in for my Seattle peeps!). It does wonders to boost mood and spirit. Sunny places have typically friendlier residents and better music. And after seeing this old friend again, I am reminded why.

Though it's a bit early in the year to take a dip in the sea, others ventured. I simply sat. I watched the boats. I said no thank you to the peddlers (ability to buy nail polish on the beach was a first). I thought, "Really?" as the 65 yo man, flip phone tucked in his speedo, gazed longingly at the single women lying nearby. An Adonis did pull ups and then laps along the shore (he wasn't that attractive, but I'd bet a euro his name was really Adonis. Just yesterday, I was served by Orestes, and at Easter I met a five year old Aphrodite.). It's the rhythm of beach life that I love so much. It's as predictable as the sound of the waves washing ashore. And no matter where I go, there I am, so I might as well enjoy it.

When It Rains, It Pours.

(Seriously. Take a close look at that photo.)

In physics, momentum is mass multiplied by velocity. Velocity is speed with direction. These are important concepts for me right now. I have gradually been building momentum on the work I've been doing on myself. And when I stop to assess where I am, I find the direction has shifted. I see there are more things to unearth. This pleases me. Actually this excites me. As momentum builds I have more to learn and more to explore. (Do me a favor and read the title if this entry again, just to sum up really.)

I would like to give am early Mothers' Day shout out to my mom, who couldn't be any more supportive of me as I try to pave my way. She truly is one in 6 billion.

More to come...

Mediterranean Diet

Though the label above says " Daily Drink," I think what is essential to the Mediterranean Diet is pace. There is a wonderful pace that comes here (the exception to this rule is waiting for the bus). And it doesn't include eating at your desk.

Enjoying ouzo in the afternoon while coming out of nap and transitioning into evening is a treat. Here it's made all the more enjoyable by the accompaniments, like the sun, lightly seasoned fresh octopus, and of course the company.

Today I took a walk above the beach. Today was the first day where I could smell seasalt. And today I realized the importance of pace in my life--how important it is to carve out time to do what one wants, including loving the one you're with and not looking at your phone for a better offer. So if you find that I say no a bit more often when I return, you'll know why. But don't fret. I'll be happy to talk it over with you. Come to me and I'll have the ouzo waiting.

New Acropolis Museum

Live restoration work below your feet is just the beginning of this fantastic place. More to come!!

Our Local Favorite

"Never trust a skinny chef" couldn't be truer at one of my favorite cafeterias here, where I think Mom and I are now familiar faces. When I showed up for lunch, the chef asked if it was for here or to go. I told him I'd be eating in. He told me I'd have to wait, as fresh calamarakia were on their way. I told him I do whatever he says. And if you met the man, you would too.

They were hot. They were crunchy on the outside and chewy in the inside. They were delicious.

Shhh!

The moment is rare where neither of these two is talking, so it's worthy of a photo. For those of you who don't have an enormous lunch at 2 followed by a sound sleep, I recommend it.

8 Lambs A-Roastin'...

This is my second time where I've come from Paris directly to Komnina. Locals here tell me I've come from the Big City of Lights to the Little One. No matter the differences (let's start with the fact that I can't get lost in this one I can't get lost, and I've tried...), this village has LAMB.

Cousin Dimitris pictured above was in charge of spit-mounting and kokoretsi making. I literally watched a near-sausage equivalent being made, and I'm currently on the testing phase of how this may effect consumption.

This alone was worth the price of admission to come here. And given all the others who are here, the love we share and the fun we have make it all the more special.

More to come...

Au Revoir, Paris

Marlene arrived today. It was spectacular to have welcomed my friend to a place so dear to her (she lived here as a student for a bit). We wandered around the city together, gabbed, snapped photos, and enjoyed a fabulous dinner. Thanks to her, we got Velibe Bikes, rentals available anywhere in the city. From St Germaine des Pres we crossed into the 7th and made the Champs du Mars (how appropriate) in time for the Eiffel Tower Light Show! Light Show!! We rode along the Seine, down the Champs Élysées, around the Louvre, near some of the great landmarks in the City of Light at night. We had so much FUN!! What a way to end this special time here. It was Mar!velous.

A New Day

I am not a morning person. Yet, one of the things I really like about traveling is being out early in the day to watch the city wake up. It's feeling the morning sun splash on my face as it begins to rise above buildings. That same sunshine pours into windows being dressed to entice today's passers-by, like in the bakery pictured above. It's the hum coming from the delivery trucks making their way through and around traffic to supply the day's goods. To my Greek ear, the absence of honking is conspicuous. People wish each other well for the day. And here--especially here--it's the smell of fresh baked croissants, tartes tatin, eclairs, madeleines...the list goes on. And for me, it's gingerly clutching a freshly baked baguette still a little warm from the oven. To protect its bulbous ends from morning commuters and street-sweepers, I keep a firm hold on its slender middle, trying not to crack its crunchy and flaky exterior.

Smiling, I make my way through the alleys, the narrow streets, the bikes and mopeds. While bright red geraniums reach out from their iron-protected balcony boxes above, I dart around the rivers of water that stream along the curbs below. I delight in this ritual.

I stop to look around. One by one from their tall stacks, tables and chairs are being set for the day. Steel gates are slowly disappearing to show their colorful storefronts. I peer over my other shoulder. An eyebrow rises. Each street ends with another building redirecting it to wind in a new direction, encouraging exploration. What else is there to see, hear, smell nearby? My grin expresses my satisfaction, my curiosity takes hold, and off I go.

More to come...

Arc! de Triomphe

Though this is "Top Secret!," I'm also on the lookout for Du Quois, Latrine, Chocolate Mousse and Deja Vu (though we have not met before).

I love the French. Ernie has so wisely pointed put that France behaves like a Northern European country. They don't even honk here!! My second coffee today was at a cafe, where I sat next to a table of Greeks. Oh to hear that language out of context! Fortunately for me, I know a little German, too; he's sitting right over there.

Bonjour Maman!

I realized today that I have the technology to take self portraits, and by that I mean a camera and an extended arm. I took this while at Luxembourg Gardens. The Senate is the building behind me.

Ernie's here! But he was sleeping so I decided not to take a photo of him. Kind if wish I had the Chen sleeping gene... Can't wait for Mars to come!

Big ups to Kelli and Kevin for tying the knot yesterday. Congratulations!!!!

Incroyable!!!

Overcast and still spectacular.

Misnomer

This street is neither as long or as populated as one would hope.

Don't Be a Stranger!

Ok that was terrible.

An August Setting

Today, I enjoyed visiting one my very favorite places in the world, Musée Rodin.

With no intent to visit the museum proper, I spent a couple of hours in the gardens, writing, wandering and wondering. I snapped some pics of statues for which I already have photos from previous trips. No matter. I was seeing it in new light today. I remember my first visit to it, the majority of its grounds covered to protect it from winter. Today, I saw bees darting from one flower to the next. I could smell the fragrance of the plants in bloom. I could watch ducks swim in its pond. I am so happy that I simply got a chance to be there, to enjoy it, to relish the time spent there today.

Please take my advice: think of a place you love and go there. Your relaxed body and rejuvenated soul will thank you for it!!

Curb Appeal

In old cities, one of the things I love the most to look at is its doorways. I am really trying hard not stop every few meters to snap a photo. It was hard today as I walked through the 7th and parts of the 6th and 5th. This door, if memory serves, is on or near Rue du Cherche Midi, just above Blvd Montparnasse. I have seen so many such passageways and I'm intrigued by each one.

I have learned that here in France the exteriors are rather simple, so that when one is invited into the interior, one is wowed. Which makes me wonder: what the heck is happening on the other side of that door?!

French Laundry

Not the kind you Seattlites might think of. But this is how I passed the time while I did do laundry, which was an interesting process, given it's 100% automated and all directions are en Francais, and made moreso by the older lady who was asking me questions about what to do. Oh dear.

Pro or Antipasti?

A fancy lunch (top of Pompidou, with a view!) paves the way for a simple but delicious dinner. Antipasti includes a trio of cheeses ( good, better and best), Moroccan olives from the local market, and strawberries red all the way through). Yay for life's little pleasures!!

A Very Timely Reminder

This morning I awoke a little earlier than normal to make time to watch the annual Paris Marathon. It really is an amazing sight to witness a sea of people run by for about 45 minutes straight. Marching bands of all kinds dotted the course to cheer on the participants (including some para-athletes!). Other spectators flooded their terraces, sipping morning coffee. Children cheered. There were several teams of people who were carrying others unable to run; members of such teams rotated in and out while continuing to run. I even saw two people, at the very end as the mass petered out, pushing a loved one in a wheelchair. In relation to the course, the point of my overlook was somewhere between the 3km and 4km mark; so those folks had another 38km or so to go... Amazing what the human spirit does.

As I have written, I wasn't sure what had brought me here, other than the voice inside firmly and constantly saying, "Go." And now that I am about halfway through the time I plan on spending here, I can tell you that I could not be anywhere else. I know that the image of "Paris" conjures up something in people that most often makes them smile, and it does for me, too. But for me, this time here isn't a time to holiday, shop or sight-see, it's not anything but a true getaway. I realize now that I had to get away from everything I know and all whom I hold dear to create the space I need to work on myself. And though I can season my days with visits to internationally recognizable locations, I am here to look inward.

Wherever you go, there you are.

Good fortune smiles upon me in many ways. About 15 months ago that smile came from my then-colleague John, who put me in touch with friends of his who live here. I had the pleasure of meeting one of them yesterday, Mike, and enjoying lunch and conversation at a sunshine-filled sidewalk cafe, loosely flanked by Notre Dame and St. Michel. Mike and I talked about many things, and he made a great point. When I told him about the circumstances that brought me here, atypical reasons for visiting Paris, he remarked that this city is and has been a source of inspiration for many. (The word is one I love for its etymology "to breathe into.") And so I too am looking to draw on this Parisian resource. Regardless of the forecast, every day may not be sunny, but I hope it will be "windy."

So today, watching all those runners, I am reminded that my journey is not a sprint but a marathon. At times, I will have hills to climb, and at other times I will have the wind at my back. And no matter my pace, I know that many of you will be cheering me on. And for that, you have my deepest gratitude.

More to come...

April in Paris...

This year, it's unseasonably warm. According to locals, it should be in the 50s and rainy, but instead it's in the 70s and warm. This is from Le Jardin des Plantes in the 5th, home to the zoo and the natural history museum. What a day! Capped with a 15 minute wait on Ile St Louis for Bertillon gelato (thanks Moll!), pistachio and dark chocolate. And yes, it was well worth the wait.

Tomorrow is the Paris Marathon so I hope to catch the runners as they go by right down my street. Ok time to watch the cars go by! A bientot!

No Trunk? No Problem.

So I thought I had to creative when transporting items!! Taken with zoom on phone, so pardon the quality.

More to come...

Sunshine on My Shoulders

Spectacular light on and in Notre Dame. Spent the day in Le Jardin de Luxembourg, basking in sunshine and people watching. The 5/6th Arr are really wonderful for that!!

More to come...

Today's Snapshot: what's on the calendar

More to come...

In case you were wondering...

Yes, I do this everyday. Today it was at Place des Vosges (former home to Victor Hugo) and in between visits with college friend Ashley.

More to come...

Mon Dieu! C'est un cheval!! Supercool, non?

I am not the foodie that my friends are. But I had to take a photo of the signature salad at this nearby cafe, Au Petit Fer a Cheval. The meal, the glass of chardonnay, and the after-dinner espresso was the end to a pretty great day, and dare I say a well deserved award after 5+ hours of walking. Over coffee, while watching the world go by, I knew I had a grin that wouldn't quit. There were three young women who sat next to me, and one kept looking over in my direction. "Does she know something? Does she see something I don't?" I thought she might be thinking. I think seeing someone who is sitting alone smiling is probably a rarity here.

I'll be the first to tell you that the whole week hasn't been like today. Aside from battling jet lag, I probably have been battling a few other things that I could not allow to come to the surface until now, until I was able to be far from loved ones, from responsibility, far from my own expectations as how I ought to behave. Other than a couple of long weekends here and there, this is my first trip traveling alone, and it's a learning experience. There are parts that I anticipated feeling, and there are parts I hadn't (though I had anticipated the unease). I have been taught that the only way out of something is to work through it. And so while I am here, I hope to surround myself with the inherent beauty of Paris, and perhaps channel some of the latent energy that some of its great thinkers and writers have left behind, to help fuel my journey.

Many things came together today to make it a splendid day. First is the 1.5L of water I had last night--never underestimate the power of staying hydrated. Second, the sun was out. Third, I visited the Musee d'Arts et Metiers. This museum is dedicated to how things work. It's divided into these exhibits, in this order: Scientific Instruments, Materials, Construction, Communication, Energy, Mechanics, and Transportation. I have an interest in how things work; I like to tinker. At one point in my life, I entertained becoming an engineer, and in wandering through the museum, I wondered what could have been if I had. I spent a disproportionately long amount of time in the first section. I was connected to it in a way that I rarely am in museums. In moving through the other exhibits, I realized what my connection to it was. The instruments on display were examples of man's first attempts at understanding the world and stars around him and to measure his place within it. Some of you may have heard me say that I am not sure why I was so compelled to come here, and after today's visit, where I literally had a moment of "oooooooooooooh" with myself, it is to find my place. Where do I fit in this world? What constitutes my world? What do I not see that might be out there? How can I see it? What aids are required, and can I create them? (As I write these questions, I can sense the return of the grin I had at dinner!)

After a brief interlude with a docent, I took off for Canal St. Martin. I reached it from the south end, chose the west side so I could admire the sunlight falling on the buildings to the east, and began my stroll northward. This is a working canal, but I only saw one boat move through it today. It was very peaceful. I stopped at a cafe--right at the dogleg of the canal--and wrote. People of all kinds walked by--families, businessmen, travelers toting luggage on wheels. There was one man, who had his mostly-white hair pulled back in a ponytail, his shaggy gray mustache covering his mouth, but not his stubble nor his deep brown eyes framed by his monstrous eyebrows. He was sporting a blue shirt, blue jeans, a blue jeans vest, and was holding...wait for it...a blue jeans jacket. This man was in stark contrast to the tall, slim, stylish, young black man I saw yesterday. He was well groomed, dressed in a black leather jacket with shoes and bag to match, while everything else was by Burberry, cap, scarf, and slacks in the signature plaid. There is just about everything inbetween, too. My preference leans toward the man who has a trimmed beard, longer hair and a strong chin. However, I am not sure if I'll find one who speaks in a register lower than mine.

The demographic I enjoy watching the most, however, is the timeless Parisian femme. The one who is north of 50, who does not put on makeup but rather "applies" it, who is properly coiffed, who wears a silk scarf, and whose style can only be described as classic. Younger women, though attractive in their own right, do not have this je ne sais quoi that only age can provide. In time though, they too will join the breed who, even standing at 5'2", can still look down on you. And does.

Voila... I am still in disbelief that I am here. It's a crazy feeling to be so anonymous in a city of 11,000,000 people (which slightly exceeds the population of all of Greece) trying, vying, and wanting to find my own little place within it. I shall continue to walk through this city, watching, wondering and of course grinning.

More to come...

Wherever You Go, There You Are

I cannot remember when I first heard this expression; since, I have had it said to me from time to time by close friends. Given my predilection for double-entrendres, it's no doubt that I smile each time I hear it. As I find myself so far away from home, it's no surprise that it comes to mind.

Today, I found myself wondering and wandering through the Right Bank. I have not yet been here for 48 hours. And because it took me less than 1/2 a day to travel 1/2 way around the world, I feel like my soul has been temporarily displaced from my body. It's not the physical shift that's the difficult adjustment, it's the metaphysical shift that gets me each time. I find myself going from rue to rue, standing idly, taking in as much of the commotion as I possibly can. I arrived at an intersection that I could not place, until I looked left. Through no design of my own making, I stumbled upon the Pompidou Centre. I smiled. I smiled because long ago in college, this was a monument I had studied in Architecture class. I smiled because now I have a kind of connection to it that I could never have dreamed then, to a person I hold so very dear.

Wherever you go, there you are.

When asked what I would do in Paris for such a long period of time, I was met with confused faces. "I don't know. I'll know when I get there." "French lessons?" some would counter. "Nope." "Cooking classes?" "No." "Do you know anyone there?" "Not really." "Why are you going again??"

The first time I uttered this idea--this *preposterous* idea--was to a client. Yes, I used to work. And yes, the day will come when I have to work again. (Life is somehow lived in-between.) The client, Susie, is nothing but a positive force. And when I told her I would be transitioning her case to another associate, she enthusiastically moved the conversation with "What are you going to do?" Out of my mouth fell the words: "I want to go to Paris."

My eyes darted side to side. Did someone just join us? Did Susie's lips move and I missed it? Did those words come out of this mouth?? Indeed they did. Susie's response? "Cool." She paused to smile, and then finished, "that's so cool." I was still stuck in the moment of what I had just said; Susie had clearly moved on. She went on to tell me how much fun I was going to have, how I should find time to write, and how happy she was for me.

I left Susie thankful for her reaction and her support in my decision. But I was stuck. What just happened? And to my amazement, this idea, this desire, this thing that just popped out from inside of me is something that has continued to bubble up inside me since the end of 2009. And even with the obstacles that have come my way, I made it. I'm here. I couldn't have known what obstacles I would face--those made by me, by habits I've developed that I wasn't even aware of, and those presented to me, testing me, making me reach and reaffirm, yes, this is something I desperately want to do, a gift I want to give myself, a good I ought to have. The lessons were necessary for me to be able to get *here.*

Wherever you go, there you are.

I'm watching, listening, smiling, and drinking as much in as I possibly can. Here I am. And this is where I plan to be. Though tomorrow morning, you can find me at the patisserie around the corner (no not that one, the other one).