Wherever You Go, There You Are

I cannot remember when I first heard this expression; since, I have had it said to me from time to time by close friends. Given my predilection for double-entrendres, it's no doubt that I smile each time I hear it. As I find myself so far away from home, it's no surprise that it comes to mind.

Today, I found myself wondering and wandering through the Right Bank. I have not yet been here for 48 hours. And because it took me less than 1/2 a day to travel 1/2 way around the world, I feel like my soul has been temporarily displaced from my body. It's not the physical shift that's the difficult adjustment, it's the metaphysical shift that gets me each time. I find myself going from rue to rue, standing idly, taking in as much of the commotion as I possibly can. I arrived at an intersection that I could not place, until I looked left. Through no design of my own making, I stumbled upon the Pompidou Centre. I smiled. I smiled because long ago in college, this was a monument I had studied in Architecture class. I smiled because now I have a kind of connection to it that I could never have dreamed then, to a person I hold so very dear.

Wherever you go, there you are.

When asked what I would do in Paris for such a long period of time, I was met with confused faces. "I don't know. I'll know when I get there." "French lessons?" some would counter. "Nope." "Cooking classes?" "No." "Do you know anyone there?" "Not really." "Why are you going again??"

The first time I uttered this idea--this *preposterous* idea--was to a client. Yes, I used to work. And yes, the day will come when I have to work again. (Life is somehow lived in-between.) The client, Susie, is nothing but a positive force. And when I told her I would be transitioning her case to another associate, she enthusiastically moved the conversation with "What are you going to do?" Out of my mouth fell the words: "I want to go to Paris."

My eyes darted side to side. Did someone just join us? Did Susie's lips move and I missed it? Did those words come out of this mouth?? Indeed they did. Susie's response? "Cool." She paused to smile, and then finished, "that's so cool." I was still stuck in the moment of what I had just said; Susie had clearly moved on. She went on to tell me how much fun I was going to have, how I should find time to write, and how happy she was for me.

I left Susie thankful for her reaction and her support in my decision. But I was stuck. What just happened? And to my amazement, this idea, this desire, this thing that just popped out from inside of me is something that has continued to bubble up inside me since the end of 2009. And even with the obstacles that have come my way, I made it. I'm here. I couldn't have known what obstacles I would face--those made by me, by habits I've developed that I wasn't even aware of, and those presented to me, testing me, making me reach and reaffirm, yes, this is something I desperately want to do, a gift I want to give myself, a good I ought to have. The lessons were necessary for me to be able to get *here.*

Wherever you go, there you are.

I'm watching, listening, smiling, and drinking as much in as I possibly can. Here I am. And this is where I plan to be. Though tomorrow morning, you can find me at the patisserie around the corner (no not that one, the other one).